Can the Real Monsters Please Stand up? (A Vent about Vampires and Mainstreaming)
Excerpt from Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
[She cast a sideways look at Bill, her eyes flicking up and down him with an offensive interest. Offensive to me at least.
"I haven't seen you in a few months," she said to him, her voice as cool and sweet as his could be.
"I'm mainstreaming," he explained, and she nodded.]
***
Mainstreaming, according to the True Blood wiki, is defined as "a social movement within the vampire race, in which vampires attempt to integrate themselves into everyday human society."
My definition of mainstreaming is a vampire that’s had its metaphorical balls castrated.
(photo from homorazzi.com)
Vampires, by definition, are predators. Generally, they survive with good ole fashioned dark-backalley-sucking-humans-dry. They prowl the streets at night, striking fear into anyone that finds themselves alone, hearing phantom sounds that alert them to their impending doom.
(photo from sbs.com.au)
Unless they mainstream.
In Harris' popular vampire universe, The Sookie Stackhouse Novels or Ball's TV interpretation, True Blood, vampires are out of the coffin. After the Great Revelation when they revealed themselves to the world, they now claim they want to live among humans since they can survive off of synthetic blood.
While even the politicians like Nan Flanagan talk the talk, but just don't walk the walk, you'd think that I'd be tickled pink. The joke is really on the simple-minded humans because they're even falling for this charade, right?
(picture from sookieverseblog.com)
But is it really a charade? The only plausible reason for vampires wanting to come out of the coffin lies in the warm and fuzzy memories of what it was like being human. Living as a human, as Hoyt and Jessica from True Blood tried out, associating with humans like at Fangtasia, etc. cycles it back around to the vampire with a conscience thing, or even worse, shooting fish in a barrel.
Personally, that is far from what I think a vampire should be...sexy, not because they open the door for you on a date, but because they’re freaking terrifying.
The whole appeal of vampires to me is the fact that underneath the svelte attraction and syrupy words, they want to eat my face off. It gets my blood pumping and brings waves of beautiful fear. But going on a date with a vampire? Marrying a vampire? Playing house with a vampire? I’ll pass.
(photo from mediacomicvine.com)
Vampires are awesome...virtually gods with only a handful of hangups like their allergy to the sun and ability to be killed with pointy things. Why would we want to dumb them down and chain them to the mediocrity of what it means to be human?
I scoured my brain for vampires in popular literature that have a little less conscience and a little more bite. I love Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire because of Lestat. He killed without apology and delighted in his predatory nature. Louie’s constant whining was a bore and unfortunately, spawned the ‘vampire with a conscience’.
(photo from fascinationwithfear.blogspot.com)
And that’s more and more what’s coming out these days and it truly sucks. If being a monster is so inconvenient and heartbreaking, man up like Godric from True Blood and end yourself. Leave the fun for the real monsters, who rejoice in their monster-ness. I don’t want to delve into a fantasy world where morality rears its ugly head. I don’t want my vampires trying to romance their way into their prey's pants. I want a cold-blooded killer, Michael Myers style that’s just killing and enjoying every moment of it. That, to me, is way more attractive than playing human and giving me a bouquet of flowers before you bleed me dry.
Mainstreaming and consciences are for pussies...vampires are supposed to rule the night, and scare us shitless. If you guys can recommend any vampire fare where the vamps aren’t dressing up as humans and sparkling and other nonsense, share it in the comments!
About the Author
I’m an erotica writer living in the Greater Sacramento area, saving the world via taboo tales, one e-reader at a time. You can connect with me online at http://violetwilliamserotica.wordpress.com or on Twitter at @avioletmuse.